Orthorexia Athletica: Losing at all Costs
Orthorexia Athletica, my dear interlocutor, is akin to a delicate ballet performed upon the grand stage of dietary obsession. Athletes, ethereal creatures are always held to a different standard and the expectation is clear what an athlete’s body is like, the metrics of performance directly visible through competition. In most uniforms, little is hidden. Pushing a compulsion to move that began as peace can devolve into something darker and as a swan moves majestically across water the effort goes unseen. Moving beyond competition and consuming an athlete’s day, eroding any sense of peace Orthorexia Athletica pirouettes amidst the meticulous choreography of dietary perfection. Performance is the excuse and the model is optimization at all costs.
The pursuit, you see, is not merely a quest for physical prowess, but a symphony of control conducted with the precision of a master composer. All disordered eating is at its core an endeavor to control something, the core of an athlete ironically is something everyone feels safe commenting on. Even when I had only been out of the hospital for a few weeks (after nearly dying) from rhabdomyolysis a female friend felt safe to comment how she; “thought you’d have better abs by now”. Each morsel scrutinized, each gram of protein or calorie meticulously accounted for, all in pursuit of an elusive ideal of health and performance.
Yet, beneath the facade of discipline and dedication, lies a fragility akin to the delicate plumage of all swans. For in the relentless pursuit of nutritional purity, I find myself ensnared in a labyrinth of anxiety and obsession, my vibrant spirit, at times a mask with the actual love of the game/sport—dimmed by the unyielding demands of perfection.
Being observed like all swans, with a mixture of admiration and melancholy— why should any animal struggle so hard to remain above water? Why do we always compare ourselves to animals as athletes— Being ensnared by orthorexia athletica, the striving, the mirror the very essence of human fragility, dancing upon the razor's edge between virtue and vulnerability. Even at my leanest, my strongest, and my most athletic I have never felt I was thin enough to own any eating “habits” I had as issues because I don’t look like I have them.The superstitions around food abound and allow for the choreography of living with the disorder loudly but without the repercussions of someone trying to stop me. I have always been able to avoid the pressures of my Italian side of family, I also know with plenty of evidence that disordered eating runs on both sides of my family. Gender, being the picture of masculinity, athleticism, or even beauty has not given my ancestors any peace from how the mind twists body image. I am not a cycle breaker, I am not even trying to “get better” I hold my arm out like the Heisman trophy and have allowed no relative or man I’ve loved to approach the topic. Worst of all if I hear too much— even in the positive—about my corporeal form, I cannot be accounted on for any direct disclosure on the issue the painful vulnerability of admission to the habits brushed off. Dancing around dining for years or putting it on the guy with the excuses ranging from “if you didn’t notice, it’s not an issue” and “I’d own it if he asked me about it” but like all lies the undercurrent is sensed. On top of all that men are trained from a young age to never EVER speak about a woman’s weight or body, the visual was never a problem anyway. The internal monologue weaponized against myself and I don’t look like I have a problem and enabling myself to continue. Professionally the preoccupation with my body has always made sense. You can loudly live in this disorder with the ripples becoming waves that drown personal relationships. If it’s ever between a friendship, a relationship, or going to the gym- gym wins. It’s compulsive and it has been many years since I even pretended to have another priority. I feel an itch in my skin for exercise and new athletic endeavors to push myself in directions of physical pain to transmute what’s going on in my head. Would I even be able to endure a discussion about this? No, and no intervention can stop it. No one is more relentless than I am in pursuit of a goal, when winning is everything to the point that you’re cyclically under-nourished and under performing after your father passes in 2003 and every personal relationship in your life has suffered. What did I ever win?
Orthorexia Athletica
Orthorexia Athletica, a subtype of orthorexia nervosa, is characterized by an obsession with healthy eating and exercise, particularly among athletes. While not yet formally recognized as a clinical diagnosis, it is categorized as a subtype of anorexia nervosa and can have serious consequences for physical and mental health. Signs and symptoms of Orthorexia Athletica may include:
1. **Obsessive Focus on Healthy Eating:** Individuals may become preoccupied with the quality and purity of their food, often adhering to strict dietary rules and restrictions.
2. **Excessive Concern with Nutritional Labels:** They may spend a significant amount of time reading and analyzing nutritional labels, ingredients lists, and researching the nutritional content of various foods.
3. **Elimination of Entire Food Groups:** Certain food groups may be entirely eliminated from the diet, viewed as impure or unhealthy, leading to a restricted and imbalanced eating pattern.
4. **Rigid Eating Patterns:** Meals and snacks are meticulously planned and may follow rigid schedules, with little flexibility or spontaneity in food choices.
5. **Anxiety or Guilt Around Food:** Individuals may experience intense feelings of anxiety, guilt, or shame if they deviate from their strict dietary guidelines or consume foods deemed unhealthy.
6. **Social Isolation:** Orthorexia Athletica can lead to social withdrawal and avoidance of social situations involving food, as individuals may feel unable to adhere to their dietary restrictions in such settings.
7. **Physical Symptoms:** These may include weight loss, nutritional deficiencies, fatigue, weakness, digestive issues, and impaired immune function due to inadequate intake of essential nutrients.
8. **Exercise Compulsion:** In addition to rigid dietary habits, individuals with Orthorexia Athletica may also engage in compulsive exercise routines, driven by a desire to burn off calories or maintain an ideal physique.
9. **Distorted Body Image:** Despite outward physical appearance, individuals may perceive themselves as overweight or unhealthy, leading to ongoing dissatisfaction with their bodies.
10. **Anxiety and Depression:** Orthorexia Athletica can be accompanied by symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders, as individuals grapple with the pressures of maintaining their strict dietary and exercise regimens.
11. **Interference with Daily Life:** The preoccupation with healthy eating and exercise can interfere with various aspects of daily life, including relationships, work, and academic performance.
It's important to note that while pursuing a healthy lifestyle is admirable, the rigid and extreme behaviors associated with Orthorexia Athletica can have serious consequences for both physical and mental well-being. Seeking support from healthcare professionals, therapists, and nutritionists is essential for individuals struggling with these issues to regain a balanced and sustainable approach to health and fitness.
Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW) is an annual campaign to educate the public about eating disorders and to engage in efforts to provide hope and to engage support for individuals and families affected by eating disorders. Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2024 is taking place Monday, February 26 – Sunday, March 3, 2024.“Eating Disorder Hotlines for 24/7 Crisis Help
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/eating-disorders-awareness-week-2024/
Eating disorder hotlines are dedicated helplines offering assistance, information, and support for individuals dealing with eating disorders. Staffed by trained professionals, they provide a safe space to discuss struggles, seek guidance, and receive referrals for treatment options and emotional support.
Eating Disorder Helplines
ANOREXIA NERVOSA & ASSOCIATED DISORDERS
ANAD HOTLINE
The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa & Associated Disorders (ANAD) is a non-profit organization that provides support and resources to individuals and families affected by eating disorders, disordered eating, or body image concerns. They offer free, easy to access resources to anyone who needs them.
The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness Helpline
The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness Helpline offers support and resources for individuals dealing with eating disorders. Whether someone is struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or body image issues, the helpline is there to provide compassionate assistance on the journey towards recovery and healing.
Phone: 1-866-662-1235
Website: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION
LIFELINE
Text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741).
The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1-800-799-4889.
https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/orthorexia/orthorexia-vs-anorexia/